


Weak

by AStrangeEvent02



Series: Boyf Riends Oneshots [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alcohol, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Drinking, Drug Use, Drugs, Drunk Jeremy Heere, Drunk Texting, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Gay Michael Mell, M/M, Marijuana, Recreational Drug Use, Songfic, Underage Drinking, boyf riends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 18:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20568701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AStrangeEvent02/pseuds/AStrangeEvent02
Summary: A songfic about Jeremy and Michael except things don't go quite right.





	Weak

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** No they do not actually have sex ya nasties!
> 
> This is my first time writing for this ship so if I have stupid headcanons or don't get characterisation down it's because life sucks and _some of us_ can't afford tickets to see Be More Chill so we have to live with listening to the soundtrack on repeat, watching animatics and that one bootleg that's only half the show long...
> 
> I'm not bitter.
> 
> Also, this is set after the sqipcident but Michael hasn't quite forgiven Jeremy yet so just roll with it and you'll get it.
> 
> This is hella long...
> 
> Lyrics in italics.
> 
> **Song:** AJR-Weak
> 
> Also, very inspired by an animatic.

_"No thank you" is what I should've said, I should be in bed  
But temptations of trouble on my tongue, troubles yet to come_

Michael's phone buzzed, drawing him out of his intense computer gaming session. After glancing at the alarm by his bed, he noticed it was almost 8 and he hadn't even noticed that it got dark while he was trying to defeat Ganon in his quite short game of Zelda. 

Well, short for him.

He turned in his swivel chair and pushed himself towards his bed where his phone lay. It was apparently quite hard to get the chair from wood flooring to carpet where his rug lay near the foot of his bed frame.

Michael pressed the button and frowned when it didn't work the first time. After some incessant clicking and a few hits and curses directed at the poor piece of trash the screen finally lit up.

"Swear to God," he muttered under his breath, promising to get a new phone as soon as he could afford it. Even if he knew deep down that he was already too sentimentally attached to the nearly broken and pretty smashed 10-year-old phone to replace it. 

Jeremy always referred to it as the first phone ever created. Stupid Jeremy and his stupid way of worming his way into all of Michael's thoughts.

Now he definitely wasn't gonna get a new phone and replace his old one just like Jeremy had tried to replace him.

In his unconscious zoning out, Michael didn't notice that the screen had already timed out and gone black. This time it worked first time to Michael's pleasure.

Though the notification that was displayed did a pretty good job of wiping any hint of a smile off his face.

There was a text.

From Jeremy.

Michael tried to figure out what he wanted now by reading the small excerpt that the notification showed. All he could see was "Hey...So...Hi..." followed by a lot of emojis.

Deciding that there was no other way to find out, Michael opened the text.

**AssholeJerkfaceMothe:** Hi...So...Hi...:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(: Michael I think I need to make more of an effort to rekindle our friendship so I'm going to text you and talk to you more and you better accept my offers to hang out because I'm finally trying and that means you should probably try too. So please say something. Please...

The first part was very odd as Jeremy never sent emojis apart from when he was drunk and he definitely did not capitalize his I s or check his spelling and punctuation. The wording sounded like Jeremy's rambling though.

Leaving him on read would've been a bit harsh. Even though Michael was mad at Jeremy he didn't want to be a dick. Especially when Jeremy was making an effort.

At that moment Michael decided he was gonna call him.

After a few nerve-wracking rings, Michael's anxiety got the best of him and he decided to hang up.

Except at that exact moment Jeremy decided to pick up.

Wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans, Michael heard the music blasting in the background.

"Jem-Jeremy?"

"MICAH! HOW ARE YOU?"

Flinching slightly he noticed how Jeremy's voice seemed higher pitched and his words more slurred. Between that and the hiccup, he heard a second later he knew Jeremy was drunk.

That meant he didn't send the text. Which means he doesn't care. 

Michael cringed at his own stupidity and reprimanded himself for getting his hopes up when it came to probably the only person that managed to drastically disappoint him and crush his feelings.

"I-I guess if you didn't send the text I should probably hang up now?"

It was more of a question as though he was giving Jeremy a chance. One last opportunity.

"WAIT! Chris wrote it because I'm a _little bit_ tipsy!" The shouting eased up a bit as Jeremy went to somewhere a bit quieter.

"You're with Christine? How is that?"

Although Jeremy saved her after the squipcident she held her ground and decided she needed some time to figure herself out.

"I think I need to stop annoying her but she's," Jeremy was interrupted by another hiccup, "She's right about figuring shit out and all that...shit. I need to figure myself out, ya know?"

He started ranting and Michael was reminded of when they would get stoned together and Jeremy would ramble on about penguins and grilled cheese sandwiches and god knows what else.

Michael just hummed in response.

"So-" hiccup, "I was wondering...if you wanted...to come here?"

Michael was a bit taken aback.

"Su-Sure?" He was certainly going to make an effort, even if Jeremy was drunk and wouldn't remember anything in the morning.

Now looking back, he thought he definitely should've declined. It wasn't going to lead to anything good.

There was no favourable outcome.

_One hit, bad for me  
One kiss, bad for me  
But I give in so easily_

After grabbing his signature hoodie and giving his mom a terrible excuse as to why he was going to be late home, Michael got in his Cruiser and drove over to the address Jeremy had texted him as fast as the speed limit would allow.

He parked a few streets away as the other streets were jam-packed full of cars and sprinted, or more like jogged, to the house.

The first thing that hit him was the smell of sweat and the overwhelmingly loud music. Granted Micahel had only been to one other party and that didn't end well.

He tried to spot Jeremy or Christine but he couldn't see anyone he recognised as friendly.

Then he heard Christine, who he thought of as a solid acquaintance, yelling for someone to "put the pizza down and get off the counter". So naturally, he followed her voice to the kitchen.

There he was faced with a rather unusual sight of a very drunk Jeremy lying across the kitchen counter in nothing but his jeans and cardigan waving several slices of pizza over his bare feet.

Christine was trying her best to drag him down while holding one of his shoes and a pizza box and with his favourite striped T-shirt slung across her shoulder.

Michael stared dumbfounded until Jeremy was about to topple forward off the counter headfirst.

Michael rushed forward and held onto Jeremy's shoulders which poor, short Christine couldn't reach.

"There we go, buddy!" Michael said, heaving his former best friend off the counter and steadying him on the floor.

"MICAH!" Jeremy's face lit up like a Christmas tree at the sight of Michael and he tossed the pizza slices off in the direction of the drinks table. Apparently one of the football boys didn't notice a smear of cold tomato sauce making its way across the back of his calf.

Jeremy hugged Michael tightly and Christine smiled as Michael, with Jeremy's arms practically choking him, reached over and took Jeremy's things from her.

She went off in search of the missing pizza slices and Michael decided that his and Jeremy's reunion would be better off happening in a more private place.

He went to drag Jeremy, who was still holding on to him, over to the stairs but the moment Jeremy spotted a circle of people he knew he dragged Micahel over to them.

"Ooh! Drink!" Jeremy said, grabbing a beer bottle that, thankfully, hadn't been opened and popping the top off against the mantlepiece.

Apparently drunk people could only function to get more intoxicated.

Michael rushed after Jeremy as he plopped on a love seat and joined the circle, spilling beer all over his (very pale) chest and cardigan.

Michael joined him to keep an eye on the state of things and make sure he didn't accidentally kill himself.

"Here!" Some random blond who Michael didn't recognise passed him a blunt by unceremoniously shoving it in his hand.

He didn't really want to get high when he should be looking after Jeremy but how much damage could one hit do?

Michael had experience, he could handle his weed.

He took a deep drag and passed the blunt to Jeremy who was missing his beer already.

Jeremy just pushed his hand to the side and tilted his head. Before Michael could react, Jeremy was kissing him.

The pure surprise caused Michael to breathe the smoke straight into Jeremy's mouth.

Jeremy's one hand held Michael's face while the other gently held his knee. Michael's hands were tightly gripping Jeremy's T-shirt that lay in his lap.

They had shotgunned before of course, back when getting stoned in Michael's basement was a regular thing between the pair. But it was never this intense.

It was playing with Michael's feelings. Right before the squipcident, Michael meant to tell his friend that he had an ever so slight crush on him.

Except it was more than a crush because a crush goes away after the person you like gets a haircut or does something gross or says something stupid but Michael had gone through puberty with Jeremy, had burping competitions to see who could burp the loudest or the longest and often had to listen to Jeremy's stoned theories, conspiracies and ponderings.

This felt less like shotgunning now and more like a makeout session because by the time they pulled away they were both gasping for air and Jeremy was ever so slightly choking.

"Cute," muttered some super buff dude that took the blunt from Michael with a poker face.

_And no thank you is how it should've gone  
I should stay strong_

_But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?_

Jeremy shot up like a rocket, swiftly grabbing Michael by the sleeve and dragging him in the direction of the stairs.

After helping Jeremy stumble up the stairs and finding somewhere that wasn't occupied, they sat on the floor of the airing cupboard and faced each other.

"So this is you making an effort is it?"

"I mean I'm a little bit tipsy so you should ignore all the...stuff," Jeremy said, vaguely gesturing.

Michael was starting to feel the soft buzz now and his lips got a bit loose as he said something he knew he was gonna regret.

"I don't want to forget it though, Jer," he said not looking Jeremy in the eye. "I-"

Micahel cut him off by leaning forward and locking lips with him, effectively silencing whatever was going to come out of Jeremy's unfiltered mind.

Jeremy pulled back and stared Michael in the face.

"Do you wanna..." Jeremy trailed off, "Ya know?"

"Sure," Michael nodded, his hopes getting higher and higher with each word and look from the other boy.

"Only for tonight though," Jeremy warned.

"Alright!"

And at that moment he truly felt it would be. He would spend this night with Jeremy and maybe in the morning, his feelings would be returned. Or at the very least the other boy would remember what happened.

_Boy, oh boy I love it when I fall for that  
I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
I'm weak  
But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
(Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that)_

Michael clutched Jeremy's cardigan as they both struggled over dominance. Michael eventually winning control as he pinned Jeremy against the cupboard door. 

He stopped to pull off his hoodie before returning to his make out with Jeremy.

The night was spent with hushed whispering and kissed pressed to rosy lips. Let's just say neither of them left without marks. 

_No thank you  
They call me after dark, I don't want any part  
My habits, they hold me like a grudge  
I promise I won't budge_

Of course, when you look back on things you can see how it probably would've been smarter to do things differently or make different choices.

Just like now when Micahel thought of how easy it would've been to just say no to Jeremy's impromptu party invite, blame it on the late timing or something.

But he knew that even at the point of complete and utter hatred he wanted to feel towards the boy, he would always like him in more than a friendly way.

It was inevitable that he was gonna turn up whether he knew it at the time or not. 

Maybe Jeremy knew? Maybe that's why he'd asked him to come over?

Well, it was no use dwelling over the past now.

_One sip, bad for me  
One hit, bad for me  
One kiss, bad for me  
But I give in so easily  
And "no thank you" is how it should've gone  
I should stay strong  
But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that_

"I'll remember this tomorrow," Jeremy muttered in-between neck kisses, "I promise."

"Shut up!" Michael dragged their lips together in another heated kiss.

Deep down though he was hoping with every inch of his being that Jeremy would, in fact, remember this.

_We, we fall for that  
Wake up, we fall again  
We, we fall for that  
Can't wait to fall again  
One sip, bad for me  
One hit, bad for me  
One kiss, bad for me  
But I give in so easily_

"Michael?" Jeremy questioned as he opened one eye.

Michael immediately turned to face him, also just waking up.

"Morning?" Michael responded.

"Did we-" Jeremy started.

"No," Michael shook his head, "Do you really think we'd be so stupid as to do that drunk and stoned?"

"I don't know," Jeremy replied, slightly relieved sounding, as he pulled his shirt over his head, "My chest is sticky. Urgh!"

"Do you remember _anything_ from last night?" Michael asked him hopefully, eyes glinting with the intense hope. He was internally praying to every god in the universe that he'd finally get what he wanted for once.

"No," Jeremy shrugged.

The single syllable answer was enough to shatter Michael's heart into a thousand tiny pieces. The small smile on his face faded and was replaced with a slightly pained expression that Jeremy pretended not to notice as he adjusted his shirt and pulled his cardigan on.

Michael tried to keep a straight face as he felt his heart torn out of his chest.

_And "no thank you" is how it should've gone  
I should stay strong  
But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that  
I'm weak  
Go!_

"You know that what happened last night didn't mean anything right, Micah?" Jeremy asked, combing through his hair with his fingertips.

He seemed so nonchalant.

"Y-Yeah," Michael's voice cracked.

"Good! Wouldn't want to lead you on or anything," Jeremy smiled as Michael fixed himself up as best he could.

He was on the verge of tears.

"Have you seen my other shoe?"

Michael didn't respond. Instead, he opted for rushing out the small space and out of the house, passing multiple passed out teenagers on his way out.

The tears ran down his face.

_But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?  
Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that_

As Michael drove home he was crying. He pulled over on a side street and let the tears pour down his face.

He gripped the steering wheel and sobbed.

But he knew. He knew that no matter how many times Jeremy screwed him over or fucked with his feelings, he would always run back to him. He knew it was stupid and naive but he also knew that it was because he was weak.

He was weak for Jeremy.


End file.
